We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
