my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Pooping to opera.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
