Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My liver just had a heart attack.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
