You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
