what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
