know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
