Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize