you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
