Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
