don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
