Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
