She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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