Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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