This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
