Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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