So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
