Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
