I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
