____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize