he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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