It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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