chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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