Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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