Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
