i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Barsexuality is the new black.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
