so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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