like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
