i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
so much tequila, so little girl.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
