2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need to align my fucking chakras
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