I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
