Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
