I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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