All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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