Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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