Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
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