I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
