is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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