I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize