I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
