I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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