He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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