oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize