I will die if light touches me.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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