You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
