Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
