the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
