he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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