btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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