Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
