apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
