No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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