If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
