He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
