I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
