i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
