had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
is that a dick in a sweater?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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