Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize