You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
