you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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