would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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