just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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