let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
