i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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