If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
