I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Someone came in the potted fern
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
