That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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