i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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