I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just want to make out with him forever
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
