can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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